Hello again. Well, the biggest news I have to share, is that I had my brain scan last week, at Wythenshawe Hospital.
I last had an MRI scan, just before my ill-fated stay in the David Lewis Centre (see last post for details) and that was quite a while ago, so I was a bit nervous about it. But it was fine. I know some people find the MRI scanner claustrophobic, but I found it okay.
The scanner was located in a portable building, outside the main hospital. It was compact, but organised very well, with the Scanner itself, just beyond the place where all the work-stuff happens. I had remembered that there had been a mirror, in the last scanner I entered, but I was informed that there was no mirror in the one they put me in this time. At first, I wasn’t keen on having to lie there with nothing to look at, but when I slid into the thing, it was okay. There were lights inside, so it wasn’t dark, and there was air blowing into it, so no one could think there was no oxygen to breath, in the confined space.
The worst part for me, was when I had finished the scan and I had to sit up. The room began to spin, and since one of my problems is light-headdedness and balance problems, I felt quite unwell for a while. But I knew the feeling would pass, and the gentleman with me was very kind. He got my husband so that I wouldn’t have to descend the steps from the cabin, on my own. I was very grateful for the help I received.
So now, I just have to wait for the results, and see if they have found a reason for my new symptoms.
In my last post, I told of how I had been on sedation, in the form of tranquilizers, all of my life, even when I was a child.
At this time of year, when the schools go back, I sometimes remember my schooldays. Do not think, for a moment, they are happy memories, they are absolutely not.
Many bad things happened at school, ranging from me being forced to write with my right hand, when I had been left-handed, to being forced to run in the sports days, when I could not run, and having the whole school laughing at me when I came last. The problem was, if I tried to run, I looked like King Kong, staggering home after a drunken night out and I was very slow also, so of course the whole school laughed at me. Then, because I had been singled out as “different from other kids”, inevitably I was bullied.
I used to suffer from “absences”, which were put down to Epilepsy, even though the EEG tests never showed I had it (see previous post for more details) and because there was no proof of Epilepsy, my mum did not know what to say to the teachers, in order for them to help me. I think many teachers thought I was lazy, in fact one of them actually said that to my face, and I was so upset.
Maybe the absences were more to do with the fact that I was zonked out on tranquilizers, but I was given the nickname, “Dozy”, and people would call me that, and maybe even worse, even when the teachers were present. The teachers, of course, did NOT put a stop to it.
I am talking about this now, because bullying is still going on. Children are still suffering. Some even kill themselves. I never got that desperate, because my faith in God and Jesus, helped me to cope. In those days, we prayed in the morning, in assembly, and that used to help me to get through the day. My Mum used to say. “She who laughs last, laughs the longest”, and I think that this is true.
But when I hear of bullying still going on, I wonder why the teachers are not stopping it. At times they must see it happening, as they did with me, and just like they did in my case, they must simply ignore it, or put it down to “teasing”. “Nothing to be concerned about”. But it IS something to be concerned about, when you are the child it is happening to!
So I ask any teachers who might read this, to be on the look out for any withdrawn child who seems nervous all the time, or if you see or hear any name-calling, or several children, ganging up on one child in the playground, for God’s sake put a stop to it. Don’t just think of it as normal childhood behavior, because, trust me, it isn’t.
Another message to teachers. If there is a child in the school who cannot do the things other children can, don’t force them to do what they are unable to do, so that they show themselves up, in front of the whole school. I think my teachers imagined that it would do me good, to get off my backside and compete, but what child would pretend to be unable to do the things his/her classmates could do, if, by pretending, the child would be subjecting his/herself to the ridicule of the whole school? No child would do that. I certainly didn’t
I did win a race, when I was five, but later, got a very high fever, which Mum said, might have been Rheumatic Fever, but the doctor wasn’t sure if it was. After that, I could not run. If I could have still run races like I did at the start of my school days, I would have enjoyed myself at every sports day, instead of dreading it, because I knew the humiliation that was coming to me.
I share my story, to help others who have gone through, or are going through, similar problems. I hope it helps the victims, and makes others think about the way they treat people, especially in a school, or workplace. I don’t think of myself as a victim, now. I grew up, and I have a good life.. I don’t dwell on the past, but it is something that I can draw upon, in order to let others know they are not alone. This is the main reason I started this blog, because I can share my experiences in life, so that I can help people who are going through similar difficulties.
I hope you have enjoyed my blog post. I will post again soon.